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LOVE: What Kind Of Intimacy Do We Really Crave?

People in many traditional cultures used to refuse to have their pictures taken, thinking that each photo takes something of their soul. We used to laugh at them, mock these foolish simpletons. I’m not laughing anymore. We do seem to have lost something of our souls to these… these things.

We keep saying that these devices are actually neutral, and it’s just a matter of how we use them. I am less and less sure. Yes, we need to have wisdom in using them, but somehow staring into a screen (as I do in writing these words, and you do in reading them) does not give us the same sustenance as staring into each others’ eyes.

Eye to eye,
heart to heart,
gentle touch of a hand,
There is a subtle exchange of energy that nurtures us.

We crave connection.
Our souls need intimacy.
It is the very sustenance of our hearts.

I wish that we had the wisdom to pay as much attention to our hearts and souls as we do to our devices. I wish we knew our selves, our hearts, and our souls well enough to go into that same kind of cosmic and existential panic when we begin to run on fumes. I wish we knew our own selves well enough to know how to sustain our own hearts and souls.

For some of us, it’s through prayer.
For some, it’s immersing ourselves in nature.
For some, music.
For some, the gentle touch of a loved one.

So many of us walk around with the “battery” of our hearts showing red. Would that we were as kind to each other, and our own hearts, as we are to these devices that we are so quick to recharge.

iPhone spirituality? Not quite. What we need is less of iPhone spirituality, and more rejuvenation of heart and soul.

I heard recently that 95% of people would rather give up sex than their phones for a week. One third of people say they would rather be on their cell phones than make love with their partner. Is this the kind of intimacy we really want?

So many of us walk around with the “battery” of our hearts showing red. Would that we were as kind to each other, and our own hearts, as we are to these devices that we are so quick to recharge.

iPhone spirituality? Not quite. What we need is less of iPhone spirituality, and more rejuvenation of heart and soul.

From Me To You

Do you dare to be without your phone for a week? A Day? An hour?

I challenge you this week to put down your phone and instead take the hands of a person you love into yours,  look into their face, gaze into their beautiful eyes and  say, “I love you. Thank you for being in my life.”

Notice how you feel after you did that: uncomfortable? joyful? naked?

What did you notice in the other person? Were they surprised? uncomfortable? grateful?

After you have done this experiment, share your results in the comments below.

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