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One year everything in my life appeared to be in chaos, and continuing to spiral out of control by the moment. I had valiantly fought three different cancers, back to back to back, and the medical bills put me into a tail spin financially. Then I was in a near fatal bike accident, which put me into unrelenting excruciating pain and debilitating insomnia. Due to all these medical issues, I was overwhelmed by medical debt, so I chose to put my home up for sale to try to pay off my medical bills. At that time, I had no idea where I was going to live.
A few months after the cycling accident, I was sexually assaulted after an evening business meeting. That violation created an overwhelming feeling of confusion and shame. Then people in my life began to die. All my elder female relatives died, including my Aunt Jane Anne whom I adored and had depended on all of my life, especially in times of challenge or sorrow. My yellow canary, Birdie, a champion singer, and who’s song I had profoundly loved every day for the previous twelve years, also died unexpectedly. I held it together as best I could through all of that. But it wasn’t until my dear dog Biscuit, my one and only constant companion for the previous ten years since my divorce, was diagnosed with a cancer tumor in her kidney the size of a cantaloupe, that I finally fell apart.
I can remember bringing Biscuit home after her last vet appointment, where the doctors had told me that there was nothing more they could do for her. They had also told me that I was going to have to put her down the following day. I held dear Biscuit in my arms until she fell asleep for one last night at home, and then I snapped.
I began sobbing, dropped to my knees and began banging both my fists on the floor. Then, I began shaking my fists in the air at God as I screamed, “OK God. You have taken absolutely everything away from me: my home, my pride, the support of all my female relatives, my bird and now you want to take my dog too! You can’t do that to me! I won’t let you take my dog! I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!” At that moment, everything in my life just seemed brutal, unkind and impossibly hard.
Of course all resistance to both the reality of these events and also the inevitable that was coming the following day, was utterly futile. Finally, after I had cried my rage and frustration.completely out, I lay down on the floor next to Biscuit, put my arm over her and cried out again to God, “God Help me. Please, God, help me. I cannot see any sense to all this pain and suffering. I don’t think I have the strength to put Biscuit down tomorrow. I can’t do it. I love her. I can’t do it. She is my one and only true friend. Please God, help me see a pattern to all of this, so I can do what needs to be done!”
At that moment, I heard my computer ding in the next room in my office signaling that a message had come in on my email. For some reason I cannot explain, I wiped my eyes, and was absolutely compelled to get up and go into my office to read whatever email had just come in. In my inbox was a note from my dear friend and Reiki healer, Camille, with the subject line, “Thought you might like this.” Camille knew nothing of my current torment, but inside the email was the following poem:
There Is A Pattern
The swirling galaxies spreading across the universe
dance the same graceful spiral as does our DNA.
In our every cell, the electrons orbiting each atom’s nucleus
reflect the planets, twirling and spinning around the sun.
There is a pattern. There is a pattern,
and it resounds through the world beyond us,
and finds its echo in the world within us.
When we see the moon as dark, hanging in shadow,
it is in truth no less than when it waxed full
and gently illumined our nights with mystery.
The sun continues to radiate its holy fires of life
even after it has dipped below our horizon
and dropped wholly out of simple sight.
There is a pattern.
Day follows night, as surely as night follows day.
The seasons move from growth to harvest and on through decay,
before the exuberance of rebirth in sudden spring.
The pattern repeats inexhaustibly across the milleniums
continually showing us this cycle of life, death and rebirth;
assuring us that dark is always a prelude to light, there is a pattern.
The pattern connects the stars, the trees, and even spiders,
the magnitudes, the moon, and each of our spirits.
And when our spirit rises away from the body,
it does not cease to dance.
The spirit continues to spiral on its way, in its own way,
up and through darkness, moving into light,
and then to more transcendent states beyond
as we waltz through the endless wonders of the universe.
Isn’t that amazing? We are all so connected on a deeper level than we realize. At that moment when I was asking God for help, my friend Camille told me later that, for reasons she could not explain, she felt utterly compelled to share that poem with me at that exact moment. So, she had marched right to her computer to send it to me. That poem arrived right at the exact moment when I needed it the most.
It was then that I knew the power of the loving presence of God was always there in my life, looking over me with love and would give me the power to get through anything that was to come. It was when I read this poem that I knew deep in my soul that there was a pattern to everything, even if I could not see it at that moment. I took particular comfort in the words of Mogh Ruith: “And when our spirit rises away from the body, it does not cease to dance. The spirit continues to spiral on its way, in its own way, up and through darkness, moving into light,and then to more transcendent states beyond as we waltz through the endless wonders of the universe.”
We are connected to each other and to everything in the universe. There is a pattern, always, even if we cannot see it. All of us are dancing together to the powerful presence and eternal melody of God.
For me, poetry has always been a great source of comfort, peace and power. Do you have a favorite poem you have turned to, time and time again, for comfort, peace or power in your own life? Please share your thoughts and your favorite healing poems in the comments below.